Eurovision... Live Blog!

Well, the curtain, if they had one, has gone up.

20:02 - It's the camp version of Tron.

20:03 - Graham Norton doing his best Terry Wogan impression.

20:04 - Oooo. They're all fast and spinny...

20:05 - Oh. Eh-oh. Oh. Oh. Eh-oh. Yep, sounds like last year's entry to me. Nice dress, though.

20:07 - They got a job lot of white fabric for the (very attractive) hosts. Except not quite enough for the one on the right... Look at that flesh coming over. Will she make the end of the programme without popping out? Stay tuned!

20:08 - Oooh. Time-lapse construction. Please go faster... it's not exactly the Olympic village...

20:10 - Do we need the smarmy bloke in white? Can't we just stick with the girls? Seriously... three hosts is overkill, right?

20:11 - Ahhhh. There he is. The man-whose-face-shall-be-forever-the-same. The incredibly well-preserved Englebert Humperdink. If that's how you spell it.

20:12 - The venue is very nicely lit - country flags, sweeeet.

20:12 - Here we go... So Graceful and Pure... Lurrrrrrve comes once, apparently.

20:14 - Choreographed pigeon steps? Check. More interesting dancers than singer? Check. Only Lev can set you free? Ooooooh. Pitchy! It's a lovely song, very musical theatre... But more like an Irish entry than our usual Brit-pop. Oh, dear God, the falsetto...

20:15 - No-one has ever won from second in the running order. Hungary, we pity you. Away you go.
Clothes by Jean-Paul Gautier? Or clever rip-off anyway. They appear to have phallic shaped springs projected onto the floor... At least it's got a bit of 'go' to it!

20:17 - I quite like this... Be even nicer if I could hear the lyrics. Annunciate, darlings... Unfortunately, better than ours!

20:19 - Next is "Suss" from Albania. Suss? Soos? Seuss? Dr Seuss? A song I like, it makes me smile. How I wish I could clean the tiles...

20:20 - Kudos to the lighting designer... narrow spot, red wash. And this is NOT in English. Incredible outfit, looks like the wicked queen from Snow White.

20:21 - What up with hair?!??!?!

20:22 - Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Pitchy warbles! Neuuuuuuuuuu! She really BELIEVES those flat notes, though. Such conviction... Ooooo! Top B flat flat flat flat.

20:23 - What's she muttering? An apology? Well, you're forgiven, dear.

20:24 - Okay "Love is Blind" from Lithuania... High concept, apparently. He's wearing a blindfold... Why is that? The Albanian woman has already gone... Oh, right... Love is BLIND. Gotcha.

20:26 - Oh, no. He's trying to dance. Thought he'd shown the world "the finger" for a moment, but no, he was just making an exciting POINT.

20:26 - Well, he's moderately talented, but that song is a DOG.

20:28 - Shit, my laptop is getting hot. Can't keep up with this! Will try to though.

20:28 - Ah. B&H. I like a self-accompanying singer-songwriter. Gives me the feeling that she will sing it with conviction. Nice tune so far.

20:30 - Oooh. That's daring. She's stood up... Ah, they have a flute as well. That's nice. Where the _hell_ did those shoulders come from? Great teeth, though. I wonder if she has had work? Oh, wait, I'm supposed to listen to the song... must be a bit boring... It was nice... A bit bland, but a nice little ballad.

20:31 - Russian Granny Time!!! They're doing it to rebuild their church... That's lovely :-) Oh, please let them sing decently.

20:32 - Nope. Too much to hope for. Here's hoping for no fatalities.

20:33 - Oh, that's just WRONG. Grannies asking us to dance to a rap beat.

20:34 - Can't believe I haven't had any comments yet! No comments before 8:45 and I stop! C'mon and dance... I mean... contribute! Damn it's catchy!

20:34 - Tracey, wife, hit the nail on the head... "They're going to bloody win, aren't they!"

20:35 - They're asking so politely, I'm going to have to get up and dance now! I liked it. Damnit. Too bloody catchy!

20:36 - Iceland. This singer has had too much caffeine. Doesn't blink! Cute violinist, though... Oh, maybe not. Close-up!


20:37 - Sounds like Bombay Dreams... It's very catchy, they're snappily dressed, but... Ooooh. Acapella! For 1 bar. Shame.

20: 39 - Slickly produced, that. Black outfits on typical Icelandic blonds. Nicely done. Probably finish in top 5. NEXT!

20:40 - Cyprus. La La Love. On a stage made of books. Catchy pop song, apparently. Let's see.... Oh, dear not a promising start...

20:41 - Heavy on the uh-uh-ohs, less on the decent lyrics. Pretty singer, though. But, the costumes mean they are fading into the background and the projections...

20:42 - Bit trance/dancy. Tracey's bobbing her head, though, so must be quite catchy. They'll probably be in the top 10. They haven't won for at least 30 years, though... She's looking a bit laboured now, too, like she's rehearsed it too much. You can't fault the enthusiasm, though.

20:43 - France. My favourite country. NOT. Cmon then... If we have to...

20:44 - One for the ladies... look at them thar pecs. Gymnastic team, apparently. Probably means the song is rubbish...

20:45 - The tune is boring, and it's in French... which is just typical of the French. Oh, no, there is some English in there... The half-naked men are far more interesting than the song... And I'm _straight_! I'm sure I've seen those blocks somewhere before though... in the local school drama department, in fact...


Okay... alas only 15 views and no comments, so, that's all folks.